My mom has two things that she tells us to never pray for. Patients and humility. Because God will give you circumstances that will try your patience, and he will definitely humble you. Well, not heeding my mother's warning, I made the hairbrain decision to ask God to humble me. I want to be a better person and be more like Jesus, so I thought this was an area I could improve on. However, I did not expect God to answer my prayer that very same day, and I definitely didn’t expect him to follow through in the way He did.
I was going to church that night, and I was in a rush to leave. Everyone else was ready to go, and we had to drop my sisters off at dance before we could go to church. When I was running out of the house, I grabbed the most atrocious pair of bright mustard yellow, rainbow polka dot socks. For any of you who don’t know, I am a perfectionist. Nothing is out of place in my outfits, and they are put together meticulously. To the point where it is a problem. I never would have even considered grabbing these socks if I hadn’t known I was going to wear my cowgirl boots. I consciously thought twice, once when I grabbed the socks, and once when I put them on, that no one would see them, so no harm was done.
Until my pastor spoke about Joshua’s encounter with the commander of the Lord’s army. He read to us how Joshua took off his shoes because he was on holy ground. Then he proceeded to tell us that during the long worship time we had at the end, that he was going to take off his shoes in an act of worship to God. He explained that taking off his shoes wouldn’t make God closer to him, but that it was simply him praising God. And he encouraged us if we felt led to take off our own shoes in an act of worship.
I immediately thought of my socks. Those horrible socks. I considered figuring out a way to slip my socks off with my boots so no one could see them, but right in that moment, my pastor continued, “And don’t take off your socks.” I tell you, God was targeting me. I could feel God pressing me, and I felt like he was saying, “Come on, show me some humility. Take them off, Kennedy, take them off. It’s not that hard.” I struggled, for way longer than I should have. They were only socks after all. I was sitting in the front row and that made my socks seem like they stood out even more. It didn’t help that I was wearing black pants that made the yellow of the socks stand out. In reality, no one was paying attention, but it still felt horrible to me. And I realized that I was being prideful, and I did need to be humbled.
So, I took off my boots. And I am so glad I did. It felt horrible for me at first, and if you don’t really care about being perfect, you might not understand my struggle. But it was really really hard. After I had done it, though, I realized that what other people thought of me shouldn’t matter as long as I was doing it for the glory of God.
No, I do not suggest that you ask God to be humbled if you don't want Him to give you a situation to build that character. It is NOT a good idea. And that isn’t even the point of me telling this story. I wanted to share with you this funny part of my life, but I also think stories like these can help us share the gospel with people. Stories like these just prove that there is no such thing as a coincidence. And if they think that God is far away and uncaring, this story really shows them that God does care, and that he definitely has a sense of humor.
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haha! This is really kind of something I struggle with -- thinking others will notice and judge me if I do something weird. I can say right now, most people don't really pay attention to things like that... unless they're not paying attention to the message and God's presence...
I raise my hands in worship now, because God kept telling me to, and I couldn't focus on praising until I did what He said, and now I can't focus on worship without raising my hands. I feel self-conscious a lot of times, since I'm so young, and literally the only one raising my hands, but I try to ignore that feeling.
This is such a good story! Sometimes God asks me to kneel during worship, and that's kind of hard for me since I feel like it's embarrassing. But what you said at the end is so important to remember when He asks us to do something like that: "what other people thought of me shouldn’t matter as long as I was doing it for the glory of God."