I was at a holy hour with my family. Well, it was a bit more than a holy hour. It lasted about four hours and had other things consisting of praise music. This all happened outside in the thickets of the woods.
Keep in mind that the ground was dirty, and I was wearing white leggings and there were benches and chairs available. At one point there was a time for silent praise as worship songs played. I could practically hear the Lord telling me to kneel.
Maybe it was pride, but for whatever reason, I didn't do it. I just sat on the bench where it was comfortable. I looked around and saw an old man kneeling on the ground, his hands up in praise. Why couldn't I be like that man?
God's voice was powerful in my heart as he told me to kneel, but I didn't do it. I could hear in my mind the pounding of the nails as they crucified Jesus, Jesus crying out in pain, and still, I didn't move. Jesus suffered a horrible death for my sins, and yet I couldn't even kneel on the ground.
Later, as we were leaving, the same man who I saw kneeling with his arms up stopped me and my mother. He gave off a sense that he was a very good man. He blessed me and my mother and asked us to pray for aborted babies.
When he drove away, the back of his car had two signs on loose leaf paper. Taped to the back window and written in crude handwriting, they said, "JESUS LOVES YOU" "TURN TO HIM"
This man went around saving people, blessing people, sharing the Gospel shamelessly, and yet I couldn't even kneel on the ground because I was too pridefully.
I beg all of you, if you hear God telling you to do something, lay aside any earthly fears and do as He asks. The outcome will be far more rewarding.
God has been calling me to kneel or go up to the front of the church to receive prayer several times recently. It's been humbling and freeing, knowing that I only need to care about obeying and glorifying Him. :)